Saudade
by FruitySmell
Summary: The first time he left his home marked the end of her dreams. [Implied YohAnna].


She was always the one to leave.

Born as a shaman meant responsibilities far greater than any normal human could ever comprehend. As a young shaman trained under the talented yet eccentric Asakura Mikihisa, Tamamura Tamao always found herself roped at a mission or two that left her badly bruised and shaken, only to wake up to another day of excruciating pain and endless tasks to master the ways of a Shugenja.

It was hard work.

Not once, however, did a complaint ever leave her lips. Never. She owed so much of what she was and had right now to this strange man who wore a bird mask every waking day of his life.

Because it was Miki who plucked her out from that torn orphanage with a wretched hag for a caretaker and nasty bullies for playmates. Because it was Miki who told her that she wasn't crazy - that there were indeed spirits all around her and she could see them. Because it was Miki who told her she had something special in her, a talent so rare but beautiful if she were to openly embrace it.

Because it was Miki who gave her a family when she desperately needed one and then, ultimately, introduced her to the boy she kept close to her heart the moment she laid eyes on him.

Asakura Yoh was the sole heir to this powerful shaman family, and he was in need of a partner who matched the prowess hidden beneath his small and lanky body.

She aimed to be that person, because how wonderful a thought it was to be by his side all the time, cheering him on in his endeavors and giving him a home the way he did with her.

So she never complained about the harsh trainings, about the never-ending scripture readings, about leaving the only estate she knew as her home so constantly it was almost as if she stepped foot in the Asakura household only to be called out first thing in the morning for another bout of training.

It was all for Yoh. For a future with Yoh. Together.

It was all for a dream in her fairytale, where the prince and the princess lived happily ever after. A dream she sought for. A dream she fought for.

A dream that, sadly remained a dream starting on that one fateful day, when it was finally her time to wait for him at the train station.

Every time she went home to Izumo, Yoh was always the first one to greet her at the station, that signature smile of his on his lips before babbling a mile away about this new cool thing he learned from his Gramps.

She aimed to be like that as well. The first smile he would see once he was home from his trip.

So she waited with her heart hammering excitedly against her chest, her cheeks already pinking at the thought of seeing him again. She actually jumped when the announcement came along that his train was coming, and waited with bated anticipation for a familiar face and smile in this sea of faceless people.

The sight that greeted her was a face she knew too well, but with an expression so foreign to her she was quick to frown at it. Hate it, even.

Not anticipating this turn of events, she failed to notice that the cat spirit Matamune-san wasn't with Yoh this time. Perhaps, Grandmother of Aomori needed him for another job?

She asked Yoh as soon as he was at an earshot and gasped when a multitude of emotions flashed through his eyes. The expression that she hated so much was back, this time evoking something in her that made her almost stumble.

How strange it was that her Yoh-sama didn't seem to notice her stagger though.

"Ah, Matamune..." Yoh trailed off, a hand instinctively reaching for the necklace he was now wearing. "He's gone."

And just like that, Yoh was too.

He merely turned around, his thoughts on a plane that Tamao could never reach no matter how hard she tried. Looking at his back, a sinking feeling draped around her shoulders like a cloak. She desperately ran to his side, gave him a smile in an attempt for him to mirror her.

He did. But it didn't reach his eyes. Somehow this hurt more than the grim face he showed earlier today.

Tamao tried another tactic.

"H-How was Aomori, Yoh-sama? Is Lady Kino well?" She didn't ask about the other reason for Yoh's visit to Aomori. She couldn't. Not yet. It was petty, but she refused to mention the other candidate that the Asakura had groomed for their heir.

Yoh slowed his walk, shrugged, and fixed his backpack before he folded his arms behind his head.

"She's okay. We didn't get to talk much though."

Tamao bit her lip. Was he bored there then? Was that it? Or did he spend most of his time exploring? She wanted to ask but second guessed herself because what if it was something else? What if he was busy acquainting with the other candidate and found her more appealing? What then?

"I-I see..." Their conversation went to a full stop, making Tamao slightly uncomfortable. For lack of a better conversation starter, she decided to pry. It was now or never, she supposed. "A-And Lady Kino's student? How was she?"

Yoh didn't stop. Yoh didn't even flinch or blush or fiddle with his fingers.

But he smiled. It was that same signature smile that always made her heart gallop. Now it only shattered her completely.

"Eh." Yoh laughed so hard, Tamao heard his backpack rustle. "She's nice."

He didn't cease his walk, as his mind was somewhere else once more. He didn't even notice that Tamao had lagged behind him, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes.

Her specialty was to use the elements to help her foretell her future. It was a gift she honed to the best of her abilities so she could be with this boy her heart yearned for. But right now, as she watched his back and the distance between them grow with each step he took, she didn't need her divination.

She knew.

He had chosen his bride.


End file.
